Non-Jews are for practice
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
