so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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