You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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