let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize