Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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