At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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