I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize