She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
