I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
