I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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