Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
