It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
