i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's shark week go big or go home
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
