i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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