If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
