i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
40s are totally the cure
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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