if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
