dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
