Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize