I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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