im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Life is so much better after having sex.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize