absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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