I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
