we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
sarcasm needs its own font
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
