Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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