No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
