Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
