Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have fence marks all over my body
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
