I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
