with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
