I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize