Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
