You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize