She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
