Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
In the future we'll all be gay
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How external is "for external use only"?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
