Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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