Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
