Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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