I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
