roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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