Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
