I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
