my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
should my penis look like a turkey
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
