the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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