Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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