Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She even gives head with a lisp.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
