***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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