he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it's great music for shaving your balls
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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