Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
