Where did you get a picture of my penis
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
