i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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