i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
