ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
