i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
