They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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