Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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