do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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