I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
