Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
