I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
