My room smells like vodka and shame
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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