when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
