I got chris browned last night
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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