I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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